The Dumb AND Bored Excorcists
by ComicMarshHero
Summary: need a little amussement? is d.gray man abit too tense for you? then read this! R&R!
1. Bloopers

The DUMB Things Exorcist Do When Their BORED

I Mean VERY Bored

Behind the scenes Pranks and more

I DON'T OWN D.Gray Man

BUT THEY DISOBEYED MY ORDERES

---------------------------------------------- Starto! ------------------------------------------------------------

Scarlet: hey Kanda-san do you know what Im doing now?

Kanda: you just lit a match IN A ROOM FULL OF DYNAMITE. What the gimme that.

Scarlet: NOT GIVING! – Drops Match and Zooms Out-

-xBOOMx-

Scarlet: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kanda: I'LL GET YOU FOR THISSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

-------------------------------------ANOTHER ONE!------------------------------------------------

Scarlet: Do you love me?

Kanda: No

Scarlet: Please say yes?

Kanda: No

Scarlet: it'll kiss you every night!

Kanda: No

Scarlet: You're so mean!

Kanda: yeah

Scarlet: you what me to do something for you?

Kanda: I'll think about that.

Scarlet: I'll kill Lavi for you

Kanda: Sold!

Easy-Up-Chan: THAT'S NOT IN THE SCRIPT DAMMIT

Kanda: lets just kill her.

Easy-Up-Chan: I think I just did something wrong…

Scarlet: CHARGE!!!!!!!!

Easy-Up-Chance: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

----------------------------------------------Ahem (as you can see, im still alive)------------------

Lavi: Do you know what I just did?

Saffy: what?

Lavi: I got Kanda and Scarlet DRUNK. Then I put them in the same room and bed and LOCKED the door!

Saffy: that explains the weird noises I heard from their room.

Lavi: THEIR MAKING PROGRESS!

Easy-Up-Chan: LAVI! SAFFY! WHAT DID YOU DO AGAIN?!

Saffy: its not my fault boss! It was HIS idea!

EUC: YOUR SO DEAD LAVI!

Saffy: not Lavi boss! No no no!

-------------------------------------Back in HQ--------------------------------------------------------

Science Department: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Komorin IV STIRIKES AGAIN!

Komorin IV: Science Department, I am your FATHER.

Science Department: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

----------------------------------Running in the 3km rally dash-------------------------------------

Scarlet: here you go Kanda!

Kanda: This is not a BATON! IT'S A DYNAMITE!

Scarlet: its gonna explode!

-xZOOMx-

Kanda: here Moyashi

Allen: its ALLEN A-L-L-E AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH A DYNAMITE

Kanda: RUN FOR IT!

Allen: RUN FOR IT PEOPLE! IM DANGEROUS! Here Lavi. TAKE COVER! ITS GONNA BLOW!

-xBOOMx-

Scarlet: and to the finish line and HIS ALIVE! WE WIN! YAY!!!!!

Kanda: nice thinking.

---------------------still thinking gimme ideas ok?----------------------------------------------


	2. Making Ravioli

Chap 2

Haha. Yes. IM ONE REALLY BORED FICTION WRITER!

Own not must I for D.gray man

----------------------------------------START----------------------------------------------------------

Lenalee: Can you cook? Allen-kun?

Allen: er…

Lenalee: you can right?

Allen: yeahhhh

Lenalee: REALLY? Im so happy! Cook for me! At 7pm live demo?

Allen: er… what you want me to make?

Lenalee: handmade ravioli? I heard its nice. See you!

Allen: bye…

-lenalee goes out of his room-

He rushes to Saffy's room

Allen: HELP!!!!!! I need to learn to cook ravioli FAST!

Saffy: not now. Cant you see? Im having a little private time with MY NAILS!

Allen: even if I said PLEASE?!

Saffy: have this cook book and then ask my sister.

Allen: er. Ok?

Saffy: what happened to my private time?!

Allen: ok bye!

- Rushes out of the room-

Kanda: Checkmate.

Scarlet: WOW! First our of 159 matches!

Kanda: So what do I get?

Allen: SCARLET!!! He pushed through the door and in between them

Kanda: what the

Allen: help me?

Scarlet: for what? Studies?

Allen: Cooking!

Kanda and Scarlet: COOKING?!

Scarlet: your crazy

Kanda: yeah. SHE cant COOK!

Scarlet: WHAT. You said I made GREAT soba!

Kanda: that was soba.

Scarlet: ok. I'll PROVE I CAN cook.

Kanda: I'll watch. I'll bet you cant cook.

Scarlet: FINE

Kanda: ok

Allen: ok. Erm. Follow me to the kitchen?

----------------------------Kitchen----------------------------------------------------------------------

Jerry: One part of MY kitchen?

Allen: I guess? Just to test. Ok?

Jerry: what if it EXPLODES?!

Allen: but I.

Scarlet: I'll be here.

Kanda: Im just here to watch him slice his finger off

Allen: I WILL NOT DO THAT

Kando: Oh really

Allen actives his arm : really

Jerry: THAT'S WHAT I MEAN!!!

Scarlet: I'll watch!

Jerry: fine…

Scarlet: ok. It says here you need a bowl and a pasta cutter and a ZzZzzzzZzzzZZZ……..and a ZZzZZZZZZZzzZZzzZzzz plus some zzZZzzZzZzzzz

Allen: does she always do this?

Kanda: she has to read sometimes right?

Scarlet: and you will get Ravioli! Ok! Lets start.

-------------------------------Half way through-------------------------------------------------------

Allen: what's the time now?

Kanda: 6.30pm

Allen: ALREADY? I gotta run!

-xZOOMx-

Kanda: I still think you cant cook

Scarlet: I just did

Kanda: you just read the book

Scarlet: FINE! I'll cook something.

Kanda: Bring it

She opened the cupboard and took some thing out. A minute later, she was done

Kanda: what is this?

Scarlet: It's the greatest thing on Earth called Instant Ramen

Kanda: huh?

Scarlet: if you're not eating it then I- ITS NOT POISONOUS!

Kanda: ok ok. You win. Ok? Now what do you want me to do.

Scarlet: I wanna play with your hair!

Kanda: no

Scarlet: Why not!

Kanda: because I say so

Scarlet: ok. Then how about you tell me something

Kanda: like what?

Scarlet: how old are you? Why do you have blue hair? Why do you like killing people? Why cant you smile?

Kanda: 18. Born with it. Their annoying. I don't want to.

-xBOOMx-

Scarlet: what was that?

Kanda: moyashi did something wrong in the higher kitchen.

Scarlet: how do you know? You did something didn't you

Kanda: well lets see. He didn't memorise the recipe and he took baking soda instead of flour and vinegar instead of rice wine.

Scarlet: your so mean!

Kanda: what!

Scarlet: you didn't tell him

Kanda: I just noticed!

Scarlet: Yeah right!

Kanda: REALLY!

Scarlet: prove it

Kanda: Jerry is looking for them.


	3. Christmas is here!

Christmas is here!

Lets see how the exorcists handle it.

-------------------------Day 1---------------------------------------------------------------------

CAROLLING

Allen: But I'm still HUNGRY

Lenalee: It's only one song! Allen-kun!

Allen: but!

Lavi: IM TURNING THE CD ON NOW

Kanda: you know what? I'd better be going now

Lavi: Yuu- Chan!

Kanda: Crap

-Music plays-

Lenalee: On the first day of Christmas,my true love sent to me 

Lavi:A partridge in a pear tree!

Lenalee: On the second day of Christmas,my true love sent to me

Lavi: Two turtle doves,

Saffy:And a partridge in a pear tree!

Lenalee:On the third day of Christmas,my true love sent to me

Lavi:Three French hens,

Saffy:Two turtle doves,

Allen:And a partridge in a pear tree!

Lenalee:On the fourth day of Christmas,my true love sent to me

Lavi:Four calling birds,

Saffy: Three French hens,

Allen: Two turtle doves,

Scarlet: And a partridge in a pear tree!

Lenalee: On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Allen: Five ONION rings!!!!

Scarlet: you got it wrong!

Scary:Four calling birds,

Lavi: Three French hens,

Scarlet: Two turtle doves,

Kanda:And a partridge in a pear tree! _I'll kick myself later_

Marind: On the sixth day of Christmas,my true love sent to me

Cloud: Six geese a-laying,

Easy-up-Chan and Weird Nerd: Five golden rings!!!!

EUC: hey! That was MY line!

Cross: Four calling birds,

Rever:Three French hens,

Kaze: Two turtle doves,

Komui:MY SWEET LENALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Everyone wacks him

Kory: On the seventh day of Christmas,my true love sent to me

Lenalee:Seven swans a-swimming,

Cloud:Six geese a-laying,

Lavi: Five golden rings!

Four calling birds,

Three French hens,

Two turtle doves,

Rever:And a partridge in a pear tree.

Lenale:On the eighth day of Christmas,my true love sent to me

Cross:Eight maids a-milking,

Kaze: Seven swans a-swimming,

Lavi:Six geese a-laying,

Allen: Five golden rings,

Kanda: Four calling birds,

Saffy: Three French hens,

Scarlet: Two turtle doves,

Komui:And a partridge in a pear tree.

Marinda: On the ninth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Nine ladies dancing,  
Eight maids a-milking,  
Seven swans a-swimming,  
Six geese a-laying,  
Five golden rings,  
Four calling birds,  
Three French hens,  
Two turtle doves,  
And a partridge in a pear tree.

Lavi:On the tenth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Ten lords a-leaping,  
Nine ladies dancing,  
Eight maids a-milking,  
Seven swans a-swimming,  
Six geese a-laying,   
Five golden rings,  
Four calling birds,  
Three French hens,   
Two turtle doves,  
And a partridge in a pear tree. –smiles-

Kanda: what so big about that?

Scarlet: you try it.

Kanda: BUT?!

KandaL On the eleventh day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Eleven pipers piping,  
Ten lords a-leaping,   
Nine ladies dancing,  
Eight maids a-milking,  
Seven swans a-swimming,  
Six geese a-laying,  
Five golden rings,  
Four calling birds,  
Three French hens,  
Two turtle doves,  
And a partridge in a pear tree. –gasp- your turn. moyashi 

Allen: WHAT?

Allen:On the twelfth day of Christmas,  
my true love sent to me  
Twelve Bunnies drumming,  
Eleven Snipers piping,  
Ten Frauds a-leaping,  
Nine ladies dancing,  
Eight Cows a-milking,  
Seven swans a-swimming,  
Six geese a-laying,  
Five ONION rings,  
Four stalking birds,  
Three British hens,  
Two turtle doves,  
And a partridge in a pear tree!

There!

Everyone stares at him.

Lenalee: Twelve bunnies drumming?!

Lavi: Eleven snipers piping?!

Kanda: Ten frauds a-leaping?!

Saffy: Eight Cows a-Milking?

Kaze: Hmmm. Onion Rings…

Scarlet: Four stalking birds?!

Komui: Three British hens?!

Allen: um. And a partridge in a pear tree?

-----------------------------------Presents!-------------------------------------------------

Lavi: I got Lenalee a dress!

Kory: how do you know her size?

Komui: WHY YOU PEEPING TOM!

Cross: psst! Supervisor! Allen got Lenalee a RING!

Komui: ALLEN YOU OCTOPUS!!!!

Scarlet: what are you getting everyone

Kanda: what I give them every year

Scarlet: which is?

Kanda: A cold shoulder

Scarlet: WHAT?!

Saffy: Marinda! I got you this!

Marinda: whats that?

Saffy: its Hi-tech Pillow and bolster case with a special comforter!

Marinda: ooh… what can it do?

Saffy: it helps you sleep! It glows and the light calms you down!

Marinda: ooo…

Scarlet: oh c'mon! I bet you got me something!!!

Kanda: I did

Scarlet: really?

Kanda: this.

Scarlet: instant ramen?

Kanda: A TROPHY TO TELL YOU THAT YOU CAN COOK!

Scarlet: WHY YOU! A girl gets her period on Christmas day and you do nothing to cheer her up?! HOW MEAN CAN YOU GET?!

Kanda: what the

Kanda suddenly look really small while Scarlet is really big.

Scarlet: DIE!

Kanda: no.. NO HEY! WATCH IT!

Komui: I GOT EVERYONE MINI KOMORINS!!!

Everyone : NO!

All of them start smashing the presents.

Komui: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Lenalee: Saffy! Your standing under the mistletoe with Lavi! Do you know what that means?

Saffy: no?

Lavi: that means I get to kiss you!

Saffy-red- : wha? Nooo! Eep!

-xSMOOCHx-

Werid Nerd Guy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Kanda: hey hey. You know what? Komui does not like people messing up his Christmas

Scarlet: SO?!

Suddenly small arrow hits her in the neck

Scarlet: ack! Can't ……..move….

Kanda: what happens. Hehehe. You tried to kill me didn't you.

Scarlet: wha? Wha? NOOOOOO HELP! NOOOOOOOO

Kanda: you know, Nerd Boy is still waiting under the mistletoe…

Scarlet: AHHHHHH

Kanda: nah. Im going to tie you up. That's all.

Scarlet: and then what?!

Kanda: I give you your present.

Scarlet: oh you mean like "company".

Kanda: nothing like that.

Scarlet: huh?!

Kanda: here.

Scarlet: whats that? Its too small for instant ramen…

Kanda: Instant Ramen was totally random

Scarlet: I know. You stole a box of tampons from Lenalee and your going to prank me and I can don anything because I'm tired up.

Kanda: you know? That's a good idea.

Scarlet: then why am I tied up?

Kanda: fine. I'll let you go.

He let her go and pushed her into a corner.

Scarlet: ok. Can I open it now?

Kanda: fine by me.

Scarlet: metal hair ties?

Kanda: I thought I'd get it for you since you NEVER tie your hair.

Scarlet: but why only 2?

Kanda: it was on offer.

Scarlet: you're a cheap-o

Kanda: no way I am one!

Scarlet: ooo. A receipt…

Kanda: what the how'd you get so close…

Scarlet: they were SO not on offer. They cost you $100 EACH! These turns solid when worn? You mean you can only use it once?

Kanda: not really. They UN-solidify when taken off.

Scarlet: ok… but why Gold?!

Kanda: matches your hair.

Scarlet: awwww sweet of you.

Kanda: I was NEVER sweet.

Scarlet: ok. Can I use your bathroom?

Kanda: Whatever.

---------------------------------------Me and the peeps------------------------------------

GIRL TALK ONLY

EUC: your hair ties look GREAT. Where'd you get them?

Scarlet: huh? I..um…

Saffy: Matches your long black hair. Who gave it to you?

Scarlet muttered something

Saffy: ohhhhh

Lenalee: hmmm…

Scarlet: Nice necklace! Did a special someone give it to you?

Saffy and EUC: yeah yeah. Who gave it to you.

Lenalee: hey! WHAT GIVES! Scarlet didn't tell us!

Scarlet: say yours and I'll say mine!

"Allen-kun" she squeaked " then yours?"

Scarlet: Kanda. And that pervert Lavi gave my sister Hot Red underwear.

Saffy: how did you know!!!

Scarlet: sisters always know.

Saffy: what can we do now?

EUC: listen!

Scarlet: how?

EUC: I put a microphone in the pillow in the guys room.

Saffy: who knows?

EUC: Kanda's Helping. He was more than happy to give us or maybe _someone _a good laugh

Scarlet turned red instantly

-----------------------------------GUY TALK---------------------------------------------

Lavi: so Allen-kun. What di you get Lenalee?

Allen: none of your business!

Lavi: ok. Then I'll just have to tell Komui that you gave her underwear

Allen: I thought that was what you did.

On the other side of the room, the girls were laughing like crazy

Lavi: We'll play a DARE GAME!

-------------------------------------------FIN!----------------------------------------------

Next chap will be a dare game.

I wont post for 2 days starting from now.

SO R&R


End file.
